Age-Specific Tips

The Growing Personality

At this age:

• Children begin to develop a sense of who they are, which helps strengthen and stabilize their self-esteem
• A sense of self begins to develop based on what they think versus what others think
• Children become more aware of social judgment
• Interest in role models increases
• Body awareness increases--negative feelings about their bodies are common
• A greater concern for right and wrong develops, as well as sensitivity to whether people are being treated fairly
• An ability to put him/herself in the place of others (understand others' feelings) begins to develop
• Reasoning power becomes more mature. Children are more capable of following rules without outside guidance, but are more capable of rationalizing breaking rules
• Children seek increased privacy as they begin creating their independent life
• Pride and enjoyment comes from doing something well (academics, sports, music, art, etc.)

Online Activities

• Instant messaging (MSN, Yahoo, AIM, etc.) and email
  
• Research, search engines (Google, Yahoo, Dogpile, etc.) and sending pictures (from digital cameras or webcams)
  
• Music and entertainment websites
  
• Online games and diaries
  

Safety Strategies

What you can do:

• Reinforce that the Internet is a public place and that you will monitor them online to increase their safety
  
• Use filtering software
  
• Help them find safe ways to retain their privacy (offline diary, notebook, talking to friends face-to-face)
  
• Do not allow them to communicate in unregulated chatrooms
  
• Explain that there is no need or urgency to respond to messages they receive
  
• Know your child's passwords and screen names. Ensure screen names and nicknames do not identify him/her
  
• Teach them to trust their instincts and to tell a trusted adult if someone seems weird
  
• Explain that webcams should only be used with direct parental supervision
  
• Explain that once a picture is sent online they lose control of what is done with it
  
• Explain the anonymous nature of the Internet (i.e. people can pretend to be anyone)
  
• Talk about friendship: Explain that new friendships online need to be adult supervised
  
• Explain that s/he should never meet in person someone they first meet online without a parent or guardian
  
• Communicate openly, listen and acknowledge feelings